Erin Anderson Coaching - How to handle the unknown

Today I'm talking with Erin at the Erin Anderson Coaching. You can follow on Facebook as well.

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00:00
This is Mary Lewis at A Tiny Homestead, the podcast comprised entirely of conversations with homesteaders, cottage food producers, and crafters. If you're enjoying this podcast, please like, subscribe, share it with a friend, or leave a comment. Thank you. Today I'm talking with Erin at Erin Anderson Coaching. Good morning, Erin. How are you? I'm great. How are you, Mary? I'm good. It's a really bright sunny day here in Minnesota, but it is cold. It's really cold here.

00:26
Yeah, it is in Utah. It's not bright sunny either. We've got the clouds, the cold, and the uncomfortable. We had that yesterday. Today it's just nice to see the sun pouring through my window because yesterday was just gray and I'm not even sure we got above zero. If we did, it wasn't by much. Yeah, yep, yep, yep. That's kind of where we're at right now. But you live in one of the most beautiful states in the whole 50 of them.

00:54
I love Utah, but you know, I've been to Minnesota too, and I've been to Montana and a lot of the 50, like the western half of the 50 states I should say. There's just beauty all over. There really is. Yes, I agree. I agree. I have done a lot of road trips between Minnesota and Maine over my last 20 years. And I grew up in Maine, so my parents and my family still live there. But

01:20
Yeah, it's always a joy for me to do a road trip from here to there because it's always just so pretty. And I don't like flying, so if I'm going to travel, it's going to be by car. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. I get that. Okay. So, Erin is a coach, a life coach, I guess is what I would say. Life and business. Yeah. And that might seem weird for a podcast, I mean a Homestead podcast, but it's really not.

01:46
Because there's a lot going on in the world that Erin might be able to help us understand and work through it herself. So Erin, tell me about yourself and what you do. Yeah, so let me tell you this much. I'm a homesteader myself, so there's that. We have 28 chickens. We built them literally a chicken Taj Mahal out in our yard. And so, you know, we gather our own eggs. We have family that raises dairy cows. And so,

02:15
you know, we can get our own dairy and things like that. So like we totally, totally understand like the homesteading thing. But what I love to do, um, is I love helping women, especially women, entrepreneurs heal from residual trauma. Uh, because you know, there's, there's so many things that women can do, uh, especially in the homesteading community, like we're, they're creators.

02:44
those women are massive creators in the homesteading community. And when we're being plagued with residual trauma, often what I see happening is we're not able to live our best life. We're not able to create the things that we want to create or even, you know, do the things that we want to do because we're always plagued with this. But what if, you know what I mean?

03:14
And so the thing that I love to do is I really love to help women heal those things. So that way they can turn around and they can create everything that they want to create with confidence, knowing it's going to work out, like knowing it's going to work out, not wondering. And believing in themselves because there's something beautiful about a woman.

03:43
who is really in that creative energy. Hmm. Absolutely. I agree. And the thing that's hard about living in the, the after effects of trauma is that you cannot move forward and extend the energy you're extending on feeling bad into doing something good. Yeah. Yes. It's, it's really hard. And

04:10
The reason I wanted to chat with you is because right now, there's a lot going on that is making people feel kind of anxious. And one of the things that's going on is people who have homesteads are kind of concerned about their funding. People have farms or homesteads or ranches because a lot of funding comes from the government and there's some stuff going on in the government that people are worried about. They're not gonna get funding to do what they're usually supposed to do. So,

04:38
How do you handle that as the person who is anxious about your future? So number one, you've got to get really close with your money story, right? When you are dealing with the anxiety of, oh my gosh, I don't know if I'm going to have that funding. I don't know if I'm going to have this. And you're feeling that there's a reason. And again, like it's.

05:06
probably has something to do with some type of trauma. There's several different types of trauma. But I would guess that if you're dealing with a lot of money trauma or these fears around money, you're probably dealing with something in childhood, like some sort of childhood or developmental trauma, or it can also be a societal trauma. So if you think about like things happening

05:36
in your community, things happening in your world view, right? And it can also be a combination of both, and most likely it is. So just simply understanding, what are the constant stories being given around you? Now, in the US of A right now, and this is where a lot of people love to do the homesteading, right? We do have a really big story out there about money.

06:05
and how money is scary, money is not showing up. We're always hearing about the low economy or scary, scary, scary, scary things, right? Yeah. Now, I wanna say that it's not like those things aren't real, okay? But our challenge is not always just to live in the fear, but it's actually to check out of the fear, right?

06:34
And you need to understand first and foremost, what it is you want to create. So we're hearing, okay, I want to create this homestead. Well, what does that homestead look like? What are the funds you're going to need to do that? But the real thing that I want to hone in here is what stops us is the belief that you can't create that money, that you have to rely on the government, that you have to rely.

07:04
on someone else to bring that money in. And the truth of the matter is you don't. I mean, if you take a look at Mary right now, and I have no idea what you're earning every year or even every month, Mary, but- We'll just use me as an example, yes. Yes, we're just gonna use you as an example. But you have a passion about homesteading, right? This is why you started your podcast. Absolutely, yes. Right? And-

07:33
people are listening, right? And when you get people listening, that's called a lead, that's called somebody that's a follower, right? When you're getting leads, when you're getting followers, that's a type of relationship. And it's from those types of relationships that we create cash influx. And it's usually a fairly consistent type of cash influx if we are consistently making great offers.

08:02
Right? So what I'm saying here is if you're a homesteader, well guess what? You are probably somebody in a great big huge group of people that has information that that entire group needs. If we're sitting here talking about like the economy,

08:29
going bust if we're talking about all this fear well guess who the people are gonna want to listen to? Halmsteders. Uh-huh yes absolutely keep talking. Yeah right because what are they asking for? They're asking for self sustainability right? You guys have something valuable to offer.

08:58
So the question isn't about whether or not, you know, you guys can create the money with the government or all of the things happening with with the homesteaders, right? The question is, is what connections, what relationships do you need to create and how can you serve them? Right. Okay, that brings up.

09:26
Now the second piece of this, okay, you need to ask yourself, does that light you up? Does that excite you? If not, okay, that might not be your thing. So what is it that does light you up? What is it that excites you? What gets you happy? Like obviously, like I'm sitting here, I have just talked now for the last six minutes straight about creating money, healing your stories,

09:56
I'm passionate about this stuff. Guess what happens because I'm passionate. People love what I have to say. They connect to that passion. It's a trust building exercise for them. People buy from people that are excited about what they have to offer. They buy from people that are well versed in what they have to offer. It creates trust, right?

10:25
And so we're told to like people buy from those they know they like and they trust and that they trust right and so when again we find that piece that we really really love so like maybe your thing is chickens right and you were really good at raising chickens you're really good at making sure that flock is just the happiest maybe they're out in the barnyard right now doing some sort of tap dance for you right like

10:55
You got that piece down. Well, how many people are starting their own flocks right now, right? How many people want this type of information? If you guys listen to Revolution, it's. It's a podcast all about like how to connect with your rooster. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

11:24
Got it. Revolution revolution. Right. Yep. Because a lot of people are out there. They're like, I don't know how to deal with this rooster. He's super aggressive. He's he's like trying to kill me every time I walk outside. And. There's a lot of misinformation. Well, guess what? These homesteaders figured this out, and they also figured out how to connect with their roosters. So what did they do? They created a podcast. They created a course.

11:54
And they're making really, really good money. They are very well known. These people's, I think it's like Sarah Franklin, Sarah and her husband are the ones that created the Revolution podcast, right? And because of that, they're creating income for their sustainability. The thing we run into when we are worried about what somebody else can give us is that we are putting

12:24
our safety in the hands of someone that may or not may not be able to provide it. Okay again that comes back down to your to your trauma stories and I'm not saying that you have to revisit like really painful trauma. Studies have shown that that's not something that's really helpful all the time, but you need you do need to be able to decide what your story is going to be now.

12:54
Right? Yes, absolutely. Yes. And check into that, lean into that. What does that look like for you? Who do you need to connect to? And start working through a lot of these stories because I guarantee, I guarantee, like, honestly, I I am kind of shocked. You know, the people that I know that are the most self-sufficient are the homesteaders.

13:24
Right? And so if you're worried about what the government is going to give you...

13:29
I really, really would invite you right now to step back for just a minute and ask yourself why are you feeling like you have to rely on them? Right? There's something else. There's something better. Yeah. Well, the other thing that I was going to bring into this conversation is there's a

13:58
There's a business coach that has a podcast that I listen to as well. Her name is Charlotte Smith, and she's really about farming. And she was saying on her podcast that don't let immediate emotion drive your actions, that if you can just get through the first 90 seconds of whatever intense emotion you're feeling, it will let go of you and then you can start making decisions past that.

14:28
first rush of feeling and is that something that you know about too? Oh yes. Oh yeah. So basically what she's saying is it takes 90 seconds for the hormone or the chemical reaction of an emotion to burn out of your body. That's what she's talking about. So if you think about like a really really funny joke right? Like obviously enjoy the joke, laugh it off, don't time it and see how long it takes you to laugh.

14:57
They found that it takes roughly around 90 seconds for that emotion to kind of burn out of the body Unless we retrigger it. Okay So, you know if we're wanting to talk about emotional stability here and again emotional stability that is a great topic for Homesteaders because you guys sure is. Yes, really is you guys are very very stable people and you love stability

15:26
And so one of the things I would tell you is as you're sitting there in that emotion, give it that 90 seconds, just breathe through it, you know, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Right. Give it just a few minutes. Experience that emotion, experience that emotion, experience that emotion. Okay. After you're done experiencing it, this is some of the questions I would have you ask. And that is, okay.

15:56
what is it that I was feeling? Can I say in just a few sentences like what that emotion was? Well maybe it was anger, frustration, sadness, guilt. You know there's a lot of emotions that are uncomfortable for us but if you understand too that emotions aren't scary they're literally literally the the pathway between your subconscious and your conscious.

16:24
They're there to get your attention, that's it. And they're trying to get your attention so that way you can set some boundaries and you can create some safety actually around yourself. Emotions, especially negative ones, tend to not come up as much if we are very, very boundary to ourselves. And so...

16:50
When you're experiencing anger, like anger is a really great example of this, right? We might ask ourselves, okay, so I was feeling angry. Why? Why am I experiencing anger? So we might say something along the lines of, well, I feel angry because I've been betrayed, right? I've been betrayed by my neighbor. I've been betrayed by the government. I've been betrayed by.

17:16
Excuse me, maybe my ex-husband, I've been betrayed, I've been betrayed. Or maybe it might be a business partner. Or somewhere there's some anger because of something that has happened to you, right? Okay, so why does that make me feel angry? Well, everybody feels angry when something like this happens, right? But why does that make me specifically feel angry? I'm not asking about everyone else. I'm asking about me specifically.

17:47
Right? Yeah. I don't like being betrayed. I don't like it when they're not listening. I don't like having to rely on the government. I don't like I don't like I don't like. And in this process, you start to find like some really good keywords and phrases start coming up. And if you pay attention to those keywords and phrases that keep coming up, you're actually going to start noticing.

18:16
um maybe what your fear or the discomfort actually is like what is the actual voice of it right what's what's driving it yeah really what's driving it okay so let me kind of give you an example um from my own personal life if if that's okay like i've been doing you know coaching and emotional resilience and you know healing money stories and things like that for like the last

18:46
And about two years ago, I had somebody that I was fairly close to turn around and betray me, in a sense. I had something really, really distressing happen between me and another one of my relationships. And what that relationship did was inappropriate. It was not okay, right? It was actually...

19:16
kind of of a sexual nature, not okay. And I decided to create some distance between me and the other person, naturally, right? But then this other person came into the picture and took the person that had hurt me, their side, okay? And they started calling me a narcissist. They started telling me

19:46
other people that I was horrible that I didn't deserve the things that I'd had. Like all of these really, really horrible, horrible things about me. This person was so angry because I had distanced myself from this other person. Right. And I was mad. I was really mad. I was like, are you kidding me? Like, seriously? Like, how dare you?

20:15
And I even offered to talk to this person that was calling me all these names and taking the other person's side of things. And they didn't want to have anything to do with me. I'm just good with words is what they said, right? And narcissistic and so I'm going to twist what they say. What? That's not me at all. That's not the way that I work. But I noticed I was feeling really, really angry, right?

20:44
And I'm the type of person that likes to move through my emotions really, really quickly. But this time, it was sticking. And it stuck for a while. And I was like, why am I so angry about this? What is it about this person that makes me feel so angry? Right? Mm-hmm. And so I got really curious about it. And...

21:11
I've learned some really, really great lessons about it. Like, number one, I'm Christian. Totally believe in God, totally believe in Christ. And as I've been like, as I started praying about like this specific situation, I started learning more about love, right? And the action of love. That doesn't mean giving this person a pass. As a matter of fact, that's not loving at all.

21:41
Because people do need to learn from their mistakes. They need to learn from their actions. But it's not always my job to be the teacher. That's the point. But I had to ask myself, do I have the capacity to still love this person? Even if it's from a distance, can I actually look at the good things that they do? The actual good things about this

22:10
Yeah. Now, that was a little bit of a pill for me to swallow because I didn't want to. I wanted to see them for the horrible person they were. And like, how could they write? Like that's what I wanted to feel. But that's not in alignment with who I am. Right. That's actually in alignment with their vision of me, not my own. And so when I started asking myself, do I have that capacity to love anyway?

22:41
I started looking for the good things and all of a sudden some of this anger died down.

22:47
Because I started setting this boundary that even though somebody might look for the very worst things in me, I'm going to look for the very best things in them. For my own good. Right? And so you can hear that boundary. And the second boundary that came out of this was I also noticed like I was saying saying something over and over in my head like I'm holding this proverbial poop bag.

23:16
Right? Right? And I'm like, okay, well, I need to clarify, like, what does that mean? Right? Well, I noticed that what I was really saying was I didn't get the opportunity to speak up. They didn't let me. And so I got thinking about that. And I was like, you know what? That's not okay. And so I sat down and I wrote a letter.

23:46
this person and I edited it and rewrote it a couple of times because again I really love the fact that I'm a loving person I see the very best in people and I also love the fact that I'm a respectful person right and so I want that to really come across in the letter not for their benefit from my own because I'm staying in my boundary right and so I wrote this letter

24:16
and I sent it and I don't know if they got it, I don't know if they read it, like I have no idea. But all of a sudden, the rest of that anger left because I am not afraid to use my voice. In whatever way I possibly need to use it, I'm not afraid. So the other boundary that came out of this was that no matter what,

24:46
I choose to speak up. Uh huh. Whether somebody else is okay with it, whether somebody else is comfortable with it, it doesn't matter. I choose to speak up. Right? In whatever way I need to. And so this is what I'm saying, like when we get really really good at listening to our emotions and we just get curious about them, we find our divine self inside of them.

25:14
because they will speak to our actual inherent boundaries. I love being a loving person. I love valuing my voice enough to not let it be silenced. I love the fact that I'm a respectful person. Even to people that choose not to respect me, that's fine. I can still be respectful because that's who I am. And so a boundary...

25:42
When we're working with our emotions this way, we can actually find a true boundary because a true boundary is never about like what another person is doing or what they're going to do or what they aren't doing even, right? It comes down to a hundred percent who we are and what we choose to do. Yes, and since that was so much about boundaries, I'm gonna admit something.

26:11
I did not quite understand that boundaries were not just about like, okay, so and so does this thing that I don't like, so I'm putting up a wall. That's not really a boundary. I mean, it is, but it's not, I don't think it's the kind of boundary you're talking about. And I also didn't understand that boundaries are something that we set up for ourselves. Yeah. Do you see what I'm saying here? Yes.

26:39
And you know, this is why a lot of people really struggle with boundaries is because they're not well taught and they're not well understood. Right. Kind of like you're talking about when when people are saying things like, well, I just need to set a boundary, but I feel like my boundary is being walked all over. Well, it's actually because you didn't set a boundary set an expectation. Right. Yes. Thank you. Right. Yes.

27:04
That's the difference. And I'm not saying like all expectations are bad, but the problem is, is when you live in expectation, you also live in disappointment. You sure do. I learned that one too. Right? Like, truly. But if you are living in intention, this is the power of the do. Right? You keep the power of the do with you. I'm actually writing a book about this very

27:31
concept here. It's called the seven pillars of living the unashamed life, right? And the first pillar is actually intention and the adversary to intention is expectation, right? But people find and you hear them talking a lot about like how they feel like their boundaries have been trampled on or their boundaries have been broken. But again, like I said, it comes back down to not knowing

28:01
actually. So I worked a lot with women in betrayal trauma, right, and they would talk a lot about boundaries. And they would say things like, well, if he looks at pornography again, then I am leaving. And I would always ask them this question. I'm like, okay, well, that sounds like a really strong boundary. But how do you plan on acting on that? Do you have the financial capability to act on that?

28:30
place to go if you act on that. Do you have like all these pieces like do you actually know what that looks like for you to leave? And then guess what? Husband looks at pornography again and they don't follow through with the boundary and so all of a sudden they feel guilt. Or like husband love bombs them and then they feel guilty for saying that and so with that boundary quote unquote came a ton of guilt. Yeah. Right?

28:59
A boundary doesn't do that. A really good boundary will not leave you feeling guilty. It'll leave you feeling empowered. Right? And this is one of the things that I really am passionate about teaching people is it all comes down to you and how you are going to choose to respond in a way that actually makes sense to you, right? And when you get this idea of like what a true boundary is,

29:29
happening is you start bringing your control back to you. You are the one not controlling the other person because that's not like it's not possible and it's also exhausting. But you start being able to control the right person and that's you and staying in your lane, staying in your boundaries, right? And not leaving those boundaries because somebody is angry or somebody expects something out of you.

29:58
You understand your limits. So when you understand your limits and your boundaries and who you are and you choose to live in that lane, well, what happens when somebody else does something inappropriate is it doesn't pull you out of that lane, if that makes sense. So here we have, like I said, a group of

30:25
homesteading people that listen to your podcast, right? And like you were saying at the beginning, some of that fear about, you know, whether or not the government is going to help or whether or not they're going to have the funding or whether or not whether or not whether or not, right? This is actually one of the results of living in that expectation, right? Well, what if your

30:54
What if that's the boundary? Well, you might say something along the lines of, well, I've never done that before, right? But that doesn't mean that that's still not possible. What it means is you've got to connect with people right now that are creating the money you want without having to rely on government assistance, without having to rely on people that aren't reliable necessarily, right?

31:24
You've got to learn to start thinking the way they think. There's plenty, there are plenty of Facebook groups out there right now that are full of people that are earning six, seven, eight figures. Right? Go join one of them. Right? Start dreaming, start thinking about what you can actually create. You know, taking a look at

31:54
millionaires. They didn't become millionaires by thinking they could create it. Right, yeah. Right? They actually believed they could. And then they had a vision for what they wanted to create. Right? Jeff Bezos, he's actually a billionaire, right? Wanted a shopping center online that literally had just about anything you could think of for the very best prices, right?

32:25
That's what he created. This is part of the reason too why so many people trust Amazon for delivering their goods. Like you can even buy your groceries from Amazon and have them delivered to your door just about anywhere you're at. Well I can't. I live too far out in the country for that ma'am. OK. But yes almost everybody can. Almost everybody can. Right. But even then like.

32:52
You know, there's still like we're still so connected as a world, right? Uh, you know, I have another podcast called the other side of the struggle healing from betrayal trauma. Um, that is a global podcast. It has over 12,000 downloads and it was something that I've done from the comfort of my own home. And though I might not be as remote as you, Mary, I'm still, I still live in a fairly remote place. Right. Last year.

33:20
because I was coaching women through trauma and helping them create more money in their businesses. Because of it, my business hit six figures, right? I just did the taxes. We saw it. This year it's scaling to do even more. And the thing of the matter is, I didn't have to rely on the government to do that, right?

33:48
My business coach, she lives in Australia. But yeah, I can get on and I can do a call with her or a voice chat. We've got tons and tons of apps, ways to connect. We are more connected now than we have ever been. This is the point, you actually can use this to your advantage. There's so many things out there that you can do from the comfort of your own home.

34:17
There's people that are blogging about homesteading, making six, seven figures doing it, right? There are people that, like I actually had a gal that was making, oh, I wanna say about $5,000 a month, simply writing greeting cards from her home and sending it off to companies. Uh-huh, yep. Right? Money is something that we absolutely can create, but it won't happen if you are identifying

34:47
Right now, if your boundary is, I have to rely on the government to create what it is I want. Right? Mm-hmm. Your boundary needs to be, I can rely on myself to create what it is that I want. Yes. Absolutely. I agree completely. And I'm so glad that I asked that question at the beginning because I have, I have seen so many Facebook posts from ranchers and farmers just not panicked, but just concerned, you know?

35:16
So I'm glad that you were willing to tell me this stuff because we're good here at the Lewis household. We're fine. But a lot of people that I talk with or I see, you know, that I'm connected with, they're worried that they're not going to be fine. And I worry with them because they're people I care about. So yeah, I did want to go back to the boundaries thing real quick. Okay.

35:43
The other thing that I've really learned since we moved here a little over four years ago, we did not live on a homestead four years ago, we lived in town, is that boundaries are also a thing that you have to put up for yourself against yourself almost. I'm going to explain this. We got barn cats when we first moved here and two of them were like, I don't know, six month old boy kittens, they were brothers.

36:12
One was a silver tabby, one was an orange tabby. And I had always wanted a silver tabby. My whole life I have wanted a silver tabby cat. And I finally had one. And I never got to pet him. He was not into being around people because he was a barn cat. We got him from the Humane Society. And he got hit by a car. Oh. A couple months after we got him.

36:36
And I lost my mind. I sobbed, I cried, I was angry, I was upset that whole day. And the next barn cat that died, I was like, oh, well, it happened again. And I swore and I slammed a cabinet door. I didn't ruin my whole day over it. And so, I guess what I'm saying is that the first time something happens that makes you hurt or angry or frustrated, you're gonna feel it.

37:06
But then your brain says, OK, maybe don't fall in love with the barncats because they're not here for a long time, they're here for a good time. Right. You see what I'm saying? I can actually really connect to your story, but I want to add this piece to it. What a great opportunity for you to actually clarify what it is you want. Right?

37:30
Like you're sitting here saying I want a silver tabby barn cat, like I want a silver silver tabby cat. Well you got one that was a barn cat right? Yep. So I connected this story because a few years ago we had this adorable little dog. She was fantastic, she was so well behaved. Like if she was still here she'd probably be sitting right here by my foot.

38:00
just totally chill, just such a good dog, right? And she literally fell into my lap. Like I'm not even joking, she really seriously did. Like I had a friend that couldn't keep her anymore and so she put the dog in my lap and said, take her home. So we did and we kept her, but it ended up, we had her for about three years and then she passed away because

38:29
her little heart was just too big for her body. Yeah. That's what we found out. Right. So she literally died of a big heart. So we grieved over the loss of our little dog. And I went out and got another one. And because I said, I just wanted a dog for my family. Well, this dog, she was cute. She was adorable. Very sweet little dog. Very sweet, but she was insane.

38:58
Yeah. Like there was no amount of didn't matter what you did. You could not calm that dog down. We, we would like, we live on a half acre right here where, where I am, but it didn't matter how many times she threw the ball, it didn't matter how many times you went running with her, it didn't matter what you did. She still wanted more. There was no way you could live life doing anything else. And so it ended up that, uh, I had to actually chain her.

39:27
once in a while because if I wasn't out there with her, she'd be taking off, chasing cars, chasing other kids, chasing animals, chase, chase, chase. Like, and she became a nuisance in a sense to other neighbors. Sure. So I had to chain her up until we could get a fence built for her. But what ended up happening is just shortly before we had her for a year, she was tugging so hard on her collar.

39:55
that the caller literally snapped, she ran out on the road, she got hit and killed, right? Yeah. And I, we were very sad because even though like she was insane, we still loved this dog, right? But it gave me the opportunity to get even clearer with what it is I wanted. I realized that one of the things that I wanted was I wanted a dog, yes.

40:22
But I wanted one that was smart enough to know when it was playtime and when it was time to calm down. I wanted a dog that would go on walks with me, but one that could actually stay right by my side. That was trainable, that wasn't insane, that could sit down and just enjoy a day with me, right? That could be really, really playful, but also really, really calm at the same time.

40:52
really good with kids because I'm a mom of six kids here, right? Got to be dang good with kids. And he's got to understand commands. And, you know, and I had a list of things like I really, really clarified what it was. I wanted and then I even threw in. It would be great if I could get this dog either for free or for trade. Right. Well, go figure.

41:22
I had a friend who breeds Australian shepherds, right? And I was telling her what it was I was looking for and she's like, I bought the exact dog for you. And she traded me in essential oils and now we've had Topaz, he's used my dog now for nine years and he's everything, literally everything I've ever wanted in a dog.

41:47
See, the thing is, is when we get really, really clear too about this is something else I teach, right? When we get really, really clear about what it is we want, it also sets the boundary for us to receive that exact thing, right? Is it like manifesting what you want? Yes. Yes, okay. Yes, and I will tell you that has happened so many times in my home.

42:15
I remember my husband, you know, we're all about food storage too. And he said one day, he's like, you know what? I want to increase our food storage by a year and a half. And it would be great if I didn't have to pay for it. Well, then one of his friends said, hey, guess what? There's this guy in the neighboring town. He just passed away.

42:41
He has about 15 years worth of food storage and the family's giving it away. And so my husband went and literally picked up about a year and a half worth of food storage for free for our family and a family of eight people, you know, there's six kids and me and him. So that's a lot of food storage, right? He did this with his job.

43:05
You know, he worked about an hour away from where we lived, and he did that for 18 years, driving every single day up and back, right? Two hour drive every day. And he said, it would be awesome if I could actually get a job, this exact job closer to home. Well, there was only one position, and it was already filled, and the gal that had it came up to me one day, and she was like,

43:34
Hey, you know what, actually, I think I want to move up north where your husband's working. Do you think he'd want to trade jobs with me? And it's just going down to getting really clear and talking about what it is we want. And the thing is, is what you'll notice will happen is these certain beliefs start popping up. So like one of the things I've been saying recently is,

44:02
I'm Erin Anderson. I'm a seven-figure business coach. I drive a Ford Explorer and I take my family on amazing vacations, right? These are the things that I'm manifesting right now. These are things that I want and I noticed like there's things that are coming up in my story such as whole seven-figures Business coach that's a lot of exposure Right like published author I got

44:30
my book coach, she's a New York Times bestseller and she's like, this is going to be huge, right? And I'm sitting there a whole exposure. That's what I'm feeling right now. And I'm like, okay, guess what I got to do? I have got if this is what I want, and this is what this means, and that means I've got to get on the podcast. Thank you very much, Mary Lewis. You're welcome. And I need to start being more

44:59
I need to be more visible. I need to see like allow myself to really be seen. Allow myself to even be judged a little bit, right? Like I've got to allow that kind of thing so I can become comfortable with it. And then what happens is now I move past that onto the next little pothole in my road, right? That next fear.

45:27
and I can start facing it. And so when we actually sit down and we say, we're like, really what it is, say Bruce Banner, I don't know, right? My name is Bruce Banner and I live on a 10 acre farm and I own a 50 head of cattle. I'm creating, I don't know, say $10,000 a month.

45:53
I don't know what the realities are of that, right? But the thing is, is when you sit there and say these things out loud, over and over and over again, you're just going to start noticing like those little potholes that keep coming up. Maybe it's, but the government promised, right? Yeah. Or maybe it's, well, where in the heck am I going to find that type of money? Right? Well, that's a relationship issue. We've got to start asking ourselves, well, what kind of relationships do I need to start creating?

46:23
to create that kind of cash because all money is is it's a manifestation of the type of relationships that we have. Right. And it's the type of relationships that we create. This is why you know I can create a six figure heading up to seven figure coaching business right is because I'm creating relationships with my clients. My son you know he works

46:53
He had a certain relationship with the owner of that diner so that the way they would pay him, right? What types of relationships do we actually need to create so that way we can also create the cash that we want? Where are those relationships going to be? And how can we be visible in those areas? And so these are the things that we need to start asking ourselves if we want to start creating more cash.

47:22
Um, you know, again, like homesteaders having a stash of gold and silver, that's probably really important to you. But right now the way to get gold and silver is through a cash influx, right? Making sure you can buy that and putting it away. And so, you know, the, the thing that I really, really want to point out is it doesn't really matter what's happening in the world. I mean, we've been through COVID.

47:52
there's a good chance that something worse could possibly come. Shh. Don't say that. Sorry. Don't say that right now. But my point here is, is you can still create. It doesn't matter what, excuse me, I'm losing my voice a little bit, but it doesn't matter what's out there. Your superpower is creation. It was from the get go. It was from the beginning. And even if say the dollar fails.

48:21
Well, then what is valuable? Right. Maybe it's potatoes. Maybe it's eggs. Maybe it's eggs, right? Yeah. Like 28 chickens. Like, right? That's what we're dealing with right now. Maybe it's toilet paper. Who knows? You're going to be a rich. That's what the valuable commodity was back in, back during COVID. Yeah, you're going to be a rich lady, Erin, off of 28 chickens. I, you know what? It's, it's.

48:46
Yeah, we actually are already having a lot of people, they're like, so you got any eggs? Uh huh. Yeah. So they're dealing under the table anyway, but like, you know, yeah, it's, you, we have value. Value is always measured by something. It doesn't matter if it's gold and silver. It doesn't matter if it's a dollar. It doesn't matter. There's always value measured by something. And when we tap into that, we find.

49:17
great relationships and freedom. Yep. It's so interesting that you were saying, exposure, oh no. And I'm gonna tell the story and then I'm gonna let you go because we're already at like almost 15 minutes. Oh, thank you. When I started toying with the idea of starting the podcast like over two years ago now, I was very, very hesitant to even like dance around the idea.

49:46
Because I was like, I've spent my whole life being told to shut up since I was little. And I was like, nobody's going to listen. I have a terrible voice. It's going to be bad, blah, blah, blah, blah, all the things you tell yourself. Right? But I desperately needed a project. So I was like, okay, I'm going to do three recordings with three people and we'll see how it goes. That was my boundary for myself.

50:14
If it doesn't go anywhere, it's okay, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised and it will. That's what I did for myself. And over a year later and over, I think, 250 episodes later, here we are. Love it. And so I really feel like fear is the great killer of everything. Yes. And hope is the great producer of everything. Yes. So. And it so is.

50:44
And you know, I can totally connect to that too, because, you know, I started the other side of the struggle healing from betrayal trauma back in, I want to say 2020, 2021, around that time. And same thing, I was like, exposure. Okay, but I'm doing this. And

51:11
that podcast at this time has 125 episodes and 12,000 downloads, right? And then I get the soul nudge to jump ship, even though that podcast is still up and so you can totally go listen to that, but I jump ship and now I'm doing Bold Heart's Big Moose. Which I listened to this morning and good job. Well thank you, thank you. That makes me feel so good.

51:37
Honestly, because it's still a fairly new podcast. It's like maybe six months old. Yeah But I really wanted to talk about more of this type of a thing like like let's talk about the boundaries It's like talk about healing trauma, but then let's also talk about like creating cash Let's actually open that up and right and dreams and dreams Yes, and I also have to say Mary that

52:06
My first thought of your voice, because this is an audio podcast, is, oh my goodness, what a fabulous voice. Truly, it's so relaxing, and it draws people in just the very tone of it. And so it's so funny, isn't it? That whatever we've been told in childhood, if we're told something enough times, long and loud enough, we tend to believe it.

52:35
But it's not true all the time. Right. Actually, most of the time it's not because until we actually get out there and challenge it, cause see, I get that. I was, I was told, you know, as a kid that I probably wouldn't ever be a great singer and I've been now asked to sing in some of the greatest places in Utah. Right. I've, I've sang on Temple Square. I've sang at a Bravonell hall. I've, I, I have a voice too for singing.

53:05
We don't know until we challenge it. You know? Yeah. And so get out there, challenge the fear. You might actually prove it wrong. Yes, and I'm gonna add to that and then I'm gonna cut you loose for the day because I'm sure you have other things to do. Get out there and challenge it, but also if there's something you love to do, if you love to draw or paint or I don't know, crochet things.

53:34
Do that. Do the thing you love, whether you've been told that you can't do it or not, because really who says you can't? Right. And there's always somebody out there that actually will pay for your work. Mm-hmm. That's what you ask for. Exactly. So people, get out there and do what you love because sometimes it's really, really worth it. And usually it is. It's, yes. Exactly. All right, Erin, thank you so much for your time today. I do appreciate it.

54:03
Oh, I appreciate you, Mary. Thank you so much for having me. What a fun podcast. All right. Have a great day. You too. Thanks guys.