The Gorham Homestead

Today I'm talking with Dawn at The Gorham Homestead. You can follow on Facebook as well.

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00:00
This is Mary Lewis at A Tiny Homestead, the podcast comprised entirely of conversations with homesteaders, cottage food producers, and crafters. If you're enjoying this podcast, please like, subscribe, share it with a friend, or leave a comment. Thank you. Today I'm talking with Dawn at the Gorham Homestead. Good morning, or good afternoon, Dawn. It's actually one o'clock in the afternoon here. Right. Good afternoon. How you doing? I'm doing great. You are where again?

00:27
I am in Dixon, Tennessee, just about 30 minutes west of Nashville. Okay, I have talked to so many people in the southern states this week that I'm starting to pick up a drawl. It'll happen. If you talk to us long enough, it'll rub off on you. It's the easiest one for me to pick up. So if I do it, I am absolutely not making fun of you. My ears are just telling my brain to gain a southern drawl. That's all. I wouldn't even notice if you did. Where are you located? I'm in Minnesota.

00:56
Minnesota, gotcha, okay. Yeah, and I don't sound like I'm from Minnesota because I grew up in Maine and I have worked hard to get rid of the Maine accent and not fully adopt the Minnesota accent. I gotcha. So everybody's like, where are you from? And I'm like everywhere and nowhere. Makes sense. All right, so tell me about yourself and what you do. So my name is Dawn and I'm...

01:23
the Gorham Homestead here in Dixon. And we started this farm about four years ago. And we're about 15 years into our natural health journey. I started when my son was young, started learning about natural foods and cleaning up our diet, things that I wasn't taught in like the 80s and 90s. We grew up on fast food and I thought it was fine. We trusted that it was fine.

01:52
until my youngest son was born and we thought he was autistic, which I'm still convinced if we hadn't changed his diet that he might have been more on the spectrum. So we started down that rabbit hole, which eventually led to, I quickly realized that I couldn't afford to shop at the organic Whole Foods all the time. There's a reason why they call it Whole Paycheck.

02:17
Yes. We started growing our own food as much as we could grow in our subdivision and our little, you know, 10th of an acre backyard, squeezed everything we could into it. And that just, you know, how that starts, you start with chickens and you start with a raised bed. And before you know it, you have 15 raised beds and grapevines and plum trees and whatever you can squeeze into that. And the next step for me was that I eventually wanted a milk cow because we

02:46
When he was about two, we also got onto the raw dairy. And, um, you know, I knew I couldn't, I knew I couldn't get away with having a milk cow in a subdivision, like I had gotten away with having chickens and that was contraband and I just, you know, threw a dozen eggs here and a dozen eggs there to my neighbors to keep them quiet. Yep. So in 2020, you know, I worked in the courthouse in Nashville and when

03:11
They tried to set the courthouse on fire just during protests and that sort of thing. I had been there for 25 years and that made me realize just how fragile a lot of things were and so that was our calling. That was our time to find our way out and to purchase the farm. So we've been here building it up slowly over the last four years. That all sounds really familiar except that I wasn't anywhere near a courthouse that somebody was trying to set on fire. So I'm real grateful for that.

03:41
It was a little scary. Yeah, and not to be a smart ass, but that was what lit the fire on your feet to move. Yes, yes. I mean that plus, you know, listening to some of my favorite influencers, they just kept saying, if you're in the cities, get out, you know, that it's not gonna get any better. And while Nashville had always sort of had a small town feel, it was quickly changing. Like when I moved to Nashville, it barely had a skyline. Now it looks like Dallas.

04:09
I mean, it's just crazy how fast everything exploded. And with that, you know, that kind of explosion and population increase comes a lot of the problems that comes with that. So yeah, we were just ready for our own sanity and safety to just get the heck out and live the peaceful life on the farm. Yeah. We lived in a small town for 20 years before we moved in 2020. And it is amazing.

04:39
how fast things get built up. I hadn't been up into the town, past the town I was living in, in over a year. And my husband and I needed to run up there a couple weekends ago. And I was like, that's new, that's new. Where'd that come from? When did this change on the highway? What happened? And he was like, you don't get out much, do you, honey? And I was like, I don't want to. I don't either. Yeah, I have no reason to. Yeah, and part of the reason that we

05:09
moved is because it was the summer of 2020, the George Floyd stuff had happened. Yes. And we're in Minnesota. My husband worked not far from where all the rioting happened. And he was off work for two days because he couldn't go into work. The building that he worked at was locked down. Oh, wow. And we had some real serious conversations about wanting to not be in town anymore because

05:38
What if the unrest actually creeps out into the burbs and then the little towns outside of the suburbs? It it was just making me really nervous and I had always wanted to get out anyway And it just so happened that we were in a position to make the jump and we did and a lot of people did in 2020 I think a lot of people went. I think we need to reevaluate how we're living our lives Yeah, I agree

06:08
So what are you doing at your place? My main thing that I do is raw dairy. I have eight Jersey milk cows, three that I'm milking. I'm currently in my dry period. But we milk three, and we will be milking eight once we get them all into rotation. So that's my main thing. But we also.

06:31
teach work. We built a building on this property so that I can teach workshops. So I teach canning workshops and cheese making and fermenting and chicken butchering and all of the good old fashioned homestead skills. I do like I call it my workshop season, which normally starts in about May and I wrap that up around September so that I can rest for the winter. But so those are, you know, we do pasture poultry and turkeys and eggs and duck eggs and.

07:01
Pretty much anything you can think of, I've dabbled in it. I decided I don't like goats. So that's not a thing here. You don't like goats? I do not like goats, yeah. That was... Okay. You know, you kind of have to try it and see what is for you and what's not. And I pretty quickly bought and sold my first herd of milking goats. They were not here for very long. Well, that's okay. Not everybody has to like the same livestock all the time. Right.

07:29
And I have to say it because I always say it when somebody mentions Jersey cows. I freaking love Jersey cows. I think that they're so beautiful. They are so sweet too. That's the one thing that I love about milking. I know it's a marriage. It's basically, you know, you're married to these cows, but you can't neglect them. Um, but I love starting my day with my girls. They just, they're so happy to see me. They come into the stanchion. They're all warm.

07:57
And when it's cold outside and the sun's coming up, I can see the sun comes up over the ridge, like right where I'm sitting milking the cows. And it's just, I don't know, it's just a peaceful way to start the day. So I love them. I love them to death. It sounds very zen. Well, it could be hard too. I've had some black eyes and broken toes to go with that zen. But, you know, we, yeah, for the most part, it's really, it's rewarding. I'll put it that way. It's hard work, but it's good work.

08:26
Well, that could be said of any farm or homestead anywhere in the world, because you're right. It is good work, but it's hard work. We actually have gotten a reprieve from the quote unquote hard work for the winter. We just called all of our chickens. We only had like 12 and they were only giving us three eggs a day because they're old and they're getting lazy. And my husband said,

08:51
I think I'd like to be done with chickens for the winter. I don't want to spend the money to feed them if they're not giving back. And I was like, that's totally fine. I said, are we getting more chickens in the spring? And he said, yes, we are. I said, okay, yep, do what you got to do. Yep. And that's the only livestock we have. We don't have any room for.

09:16
goats or cows or anything. So chickens were it. So next spring we will probably get 20 chickens. Got it. That's sort of where I was before we bought this place. Well we have 3.1 acres but it's not set up for grazing animals in the least. Yeah, gotcha. So we grow the things that don't require food. They require water and air and dirt. We grow food. We grow a garden.

09:45
Nice. Yep. So, do you have kids that are involved in this?

09:53
Yes and no. We have six kids. We have three boys and three girls. My oldest is 31 and my youngest is 17. All of the older five are gone. There's only one left in the house and he is the one that, you know, started this whole journey for us. And he is somewhat into what he will do anything I ask him to do, like anything. But

10:22
As far as whether or not I think he's going to continue on with the homesteading lifestyle, I'm not a hundred percent. I feel like he'll go away from it and come back sort of like I did. The girls are into canning and anything that I'm willing to give them. I'm sort of like the little red hand. They want to eat it, but they don't necessarily want to do it. That sounds about right. They don't necessarily want to help a whole, whole lot, but they're just starting to have their babies and you know, and their lives are

10:52
wild and crazy right now, but that was the whole reason that we wanted to do this was so that we could provide for our adult kids and grandkids something. That's what Christmas is here. Christmas, they get beef and they get whole chickens and they get homemade butter and they get, you know, all that kind of stuff instead of gifts and money. So hopefully they'll come around. I think that's wonderful. We're going to be giving as we do when we have it.

11:22
homemade soap, you know, cold process lye soaps, and lip balms and candles, because we make those. Those are the best. And crocheted cotton washcloths, because people really like them. Oh, awesome. I don't love using them. I don't like that they have the knots in them, they feel weird on my hands when I'm doing dishes with them. But our family really likes the

11:51
Homemade crocheted cotton washcloths. I don't know what the appeal is, but they love them So I make them when I'm in the winter time when I'm when it's dark out and it's cold and then I put them in A bin and then I give them for Christmas presents That's precious. That's stuff you'll always remember Mm-hmm. So so I get it, you know give give what you you make because your whole heart and soul is in what you make or you grow and

12:21
Absolutely. Do you have, how many kids do you have? I have four. My daughter will be 35 in a couple weeks. Like I think, yeah, like three or four weeks now. My stepson is 33. My other, my son of my body, it's so weird because it's a long story, but I have a stepson and he's the one that's 33.

12:46
Then I have my second child of my body. He's 27 or 28 and he was born in 97. And then I have our youngest together here who is 22, going to be 23 and that's bullet. So I have many children. Yes. That is very similar to my situation. My, one of the daughters and one of the sons is step-sons, but I take them like my own.

13:15
And then the 17 year old is ours together. So it was yours, mine and ours. Uh-huh. Oh yeah. My husband would call and say, I'm on my way home. How was your day? And I would say, your son did this. My son did that. And our son did something completely different. And he would be like, oh, okay. And it's so hard because I consider my stepson to be my son. Right. But his, his mom, when she was alive, she passed a few years ago.

13:43
made it very clear that her son was not my son. And so when I talk about the kids and I talk about my stepson, I say, I say my kids, like the ones that are of my body. That's how I describe them. When I talk about my steps and I say the one that was a bonus child or of my heart. Love it. I feel the exact same way about my kids. Yeah. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was not my stepson's mother. And there was lots of words I can't repeat.

14:13
in that description and I was just like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna breathe deep and accept the take on this and I'm gonna consider him a child of my heart. That's the best thing I can do right now. Yep, absolutely. So yeah, it was a rough go, but everything is good and he's totally cool with calling me mom and everything's good. So yeah, blended families are a gift and a challenge. Yes, they were definitely a challenge when they were little.

14:42
But now, you know, now that they're all grown, it's all good. Mm hmm. Yup. Okay. So what, like, I keep wanting to ask people this and, and I ask, and sometimes I get a really good answer and sometimes I get a sidestep. So I'm going to ask you, what is your favorite thing about this lifestyle that you have chosen and made? My favorite thing is control. Mm hmm.

15:11
It gives me total control over what I consume, what I do, where I go, where I work, how I live. All of the things that were out of my control when I lived in a subdivision and worked for the government and answered to other people, because I also retired. And to do this full time.

15:37
That is it. It gives me, with it comes a lot of personal responsibility, but it gives me complete say so in what I'm consuming and the chemicals that I come into contact with. I don't have to go to someone else's office where I have no control over that or eat the things that are provided to me in the lunch room at the courthouse. And it's just, for me, that is 100% what it is. I want total control.

16:06
I'm not a control freak, but I don't like things being out of my control and blindly trusting because it has bitten me more than once. Okay, that's a new reason. I love that. A new favorite thing. Yeah, that is. I had not heard that before. Control over my life. To live it the way I design it and the way that I want it to be without anyone else intervening

16:36
how I go about my daily business and what I put on the table. I am right there with you. I really do love the fact that we are the final say on our property about what happens. And it's so weird to me when someone pulls in the driveway, my first thought isn't, who is that? My first thought is, who is that? Why are they here? You know? I had that happen this morning.

17:06
7 15 this morning. He was in a vehicle that was marked but still it was 7 15. And he wanted to check my electric pulse. But I was like feathers up, you know, hair raised on the back of my neck when I opened that door. Because I knew, you know, if you're here, you're either supposed to be here or you're lost or you're, you know, something bad's about to happen. Yep. Yeah, we had

17:35
We had our neighbor who happens to be a county sheriff stop in a couple weeks ago, midday, in his marked pickup truck. He lives like a quarter of a mile northwest of us. And he's never, I mean, I think he stopped in to say, hey, to my husband the second summer we were here. But other than that, we never interact because there's no reason to. And he pulled in.

17:59
And my dog lost her mind because anytime somebody pulls in the driveway, she is a really good watchdog and she was in the house. She's barking her head off. And I thought maybe he was just going to turn around and no, he parked. And I was like, oh God, who's dead? And I thought it wouldn't be a sheriff, it would be a police officer, but okay. So I stepped out on the porch and the window was open and he was getting out of his vehicle and I was like, hi, can I help you?

18:26
And he was like, oh, I was just writing you a note on the back of my business card. And I was like, okay. He says, one of our barn cats took a ride in my wife's vehicle this morning. And my wife saw her jump out of the bottom of the vehicle. You know how they get up underneath? Yeah. And she, she jumped out, jumped off and then walked into the ditch. And he said, we can't find the cat. And I said, okay. And he said, it's one of my kid's favorite cats.

18:56
I'm like, oh no. Oh man, he's on a mission. Yeah, and he said, so he said, can I leave my card with you? He's got my personal number on it, so if you see her, you can call me. I was like, oh, of course, yes. And then he swung in, like a couple of days later, my husband was out in the driveway, and he swung in because he saw our barn cat, and apparently our barn cat looks a lot like theirs. And he got out and walked over to my husband, he was like, damn.

19:25
And my husband said, what? And he says, I thought that was our cat. And my husband says, you can't have that cat. That's our mama barn cat and she's got brand new babies. You take that cat, we're in trouble. And the guy was like, oh. And my husband said, but once she's done nursing the babies and they're weaned, if you want her, you can have her. I feel you on that. So yeah, it's really.

19:54
anxiety inducing when a law enforcement person pulls in the driveway for no apparent reason. Yes. Yes. Because I'm not going to lie, law enforcement has its place and I appreciate everything that they do, but if they're pulling in my driveway, it's probably not for a good reason. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. We had that a few months ago, blue lights coming down our road.

20:23
And I could see them, like we have trees all the way around us. You can't see our house from the road, but I could see the lights through the trees and I could hear the sirens and it was like 11 o'clock at night. So I thought, they must be going to one of the neighbors. About that time I realized they're coming up my driveway, two lights on, I mean, guns blazing coming up that driveway. Um, so T and I both go out there. And of course, um, we both, we had not gotten.

20:51
undressed yet. It was one of those nights where we were working late. And so both of us still had our guns on our heads. Oh, God. But it turns out they were looking for someone who boyfriend had called in said she was going to commit suicide and her last for some reason the boyfriend thought that she was here on our farm. And so they were looking for her. But in retrospect, he and I were both like, you know, we didn't even

21:21
We just went right on out there, didn't put our hands up. We had our guns on our hip. And when we're here, we don't conceal them. They're on the outside. Right. Yeah, but it was just one of those. My heart was up in my throat because I was like, why are they coming up here? Dust was flying because they were coming up the driveway so fast. Uh-huh. Well, I think that these little encounters that you and I have just shared aren't all that uncommon. Yeah, I know.

21:51
But again, our neighbor is a super nice man and he has his own homestead and he has like a donkey, he has cows, he has a rooster that calls every morning when the sun's coming up. The donkey we can hear it braying, the cows we can hear them lowing and his place makes me so happy because we don't have those things and it's really nice to hear those noises in the morning.

22:17
So I have no issues with him swinging by. I just was kind of afraid because my husband and son. Yeah, my husband and son were actually out running errands and I was like, Jesus, don't let my family be dead, you know? Oh yeah. So. Yeah, that'll make your heart stop. Oh yeah. When I stepped out, I was like, please let this not be anything major, please.

22:42
So anyway, those were interesting stories. I don't think I've ever told the one about the neighbor and I certainly hadn't heard yours. This is a new thing for the podcast. Okay, so we have eight minutes left to try to keep this to half an hour. What is your least favorite thing about the life you have chosen? It's just a lot. It's not really my least, I don't know that I have a least favorite thing.

23:10
other than just having to move chicken tractors. That's one of my least favorite things. Because the meat monsters, they're vicious and little pterodactyls. But my husband works during the day, he's gone. And it's really just me, my son's at school. And it just, sometimes it does feel overwhelming. And so time management,

23:36
has been one of those things that I've really had to work through because I was used to in the office like everything had its time. Like I would do certain things in the morning and then certain things in the before lunch and then after lunch and my day was always, well nothing ever goes as planned here. Like I can have things on my to-do list that I never get done because something breaks or something dies or something's sick or something won't start, you know, it's just and so I think

24:06
favorite is that things always interrupt me and never ever do I get things done that I want to do unless I get up at five o'clock in the morning and do those things first before I even look at anything else because once I look at something else it's over.

24:22
Yup. Sounds familiar too. I just have to close my eyes. Like I just have to come to the milking ports and not see anything else until I'm done milking. And then I go look and see if something's broken or something's frozen or you know, something like that. Yeah, that's how my days used to be when I had four kids who were all the ages I mentioned, only years younger, all the different ages.

24:47
because I would get up in the morning and be like, hey, maybe I'll be able to get these things taken care of today. And then one of them would need something and the other would need something else. And it was just like a pinball machine all day long with all four kids. Like literally the other day I had so much on my plate that I needed to get done because I'm trying to get all of my herd share members, all of my contracts done, all of those things sent out, all of my jars labeled because we're about to start back up on November the 1st. And it was all these things I needed to do.

25:17
And my son comes and he says, my truck won't start. And I was like, okay, well, I'll jump it off. So I pulled my car up there and tried to jump it off. Well, it was this different set of jumper cables than I've ever used. Because normally black goes to black and red goes to the positive. These jumper cables were blue and black. So I thought that the black was gonna be the positive, or

25:45
black was gonna be the negative and the blue was gonna be the positive. Well it wasn't. So when I hooked my car up to it, not only was his car blown, I blew my car.

25:57
And so then I tried to pull my husband's Honda Pilot over there. Well, the key wouldn't go all the way in it because it's super, super old. Then I couldn't get the key out to try to start that. And that battery went dead and they were all like, none of them were in their parking spots. They were all over the driveway. None of them turned the right way. So I had three disabled vehicles that I had to deal with within this time span when I really needed to be doing other things. Uh-huh.

26:27
And I don't know whether it works. Not funny, but amusing. That's just an example, though, of how my days go sometimes. It's just like, OK, I'm just going to quit for the day and just deal with problems. Yep, I do understand. Not that those kind of problems happen here, but I think that every day is ripe for those kinds of things to happen. Always, yes. And when they do, you either got to laugh or cry.

26:57
Yeah. So, I'm going to laugh with you because it happens. Oh, I laugh. Yeah. I mean, I have a pretty good sense of humor. If I can get through that first initial like, oh my God, okay, this is happening, then I'm like, okay, we just got to stop and solve the problem and move on. Yes. I have been listening to a podcast. The lady's name is Charlotte Smith and she is a coach for farmers.

27:22
And I interviewed her and of course now that I interviewed her I've been listening to her podcast and she's all about mindset Yes, and her her thing is that every? Emotion is a feeling and you can get through feelings if you let yourself feel the feeling It only takes about 90 seconds to get through the immediate Whatever it is, and I've been trying desperately when things happen to just breathe

27:51
through my reaction to stuff. And it actually works. It's crazy. One of our barn cats got hit by a car. Friday? I think it was Friday, last week, Saturday. And he was one of the kittens we kept from the last litter. And he was gorgeous. He was white and like, beige-y orange colored. And medium-haired, he was gorgeous. I wanted to see him become an adult cat.

28:20
Not in the cards. And my son texted me because they saw him on the side of the road and I just had a moment. Nobody was here. Teared up, swore. And then I was like, okay, feel it. Just feel it, breathe, feel how you feel. And I did. And I waited. And I waited and I kept breathing. And within 90 seconds, I was like, this is life here. Don't get attached. Love them, but don't get attached. And I went on with my day.

28:49
Four years ago, my day would have been wrecked. My next day would have been wrecked. Mm-hmm, I can relate to that. I'm much better at that stuff than I am. And I think farming, I mean, I think living this lifestyle does make you more resilient when it comes to things like that, because at some point, you either have to accept that where there is life, there is going to be death, or you quit one or the other. And so I do think that it, and I think it teaches kids that as well. I think my son,

29:19
because he has kind of gone through all of the things like that with us here and where everybody else is gone. I think he understands that more and is more mature than even my older kids when it comes to that stuff. Yes, the thing that has really come home to me in the last four years living here is that the only moment we actually have is now. So

29:47
Live in the moment you're in, enjoy everything about it you possibly can. And if it sucks, it sucks. It's the way it is. But get everything out of the time that you're here because you don't know what the next minute holds. So true. That's, that's kind of my biggest takeaway over the last four years because we've lost cats, we've lost chickens, we've lost rabbits, and it just hurts every time.

30:18
But you do start to understand that if you have livestock, you're gonna have dead stock and it's probably gonna hurt, but then you keep moving. So. Exactly. And I'm trying not to end this on a downer because I hate ending my podcast episodes on a downer. That's true. So the good news is, is that when you have livestock and if you're stupid like we are and took in a female cat that wasn't fixed, there's gonna be babies.

30:47
If you're raising milk cows, you're probably gonna have babies. Oh, I've got two due on October the 31st and I cannot wait. I'm so excited. Yes, and if you love babies, everything is good the day the babies are born and they take the first breath and everything's okay. Yes. So there, I turned it around. Babies are great. All right, Dawn, thank you so much for your time today. I appreciate it. You are so welcome. Thank you for having me on. Sure.

31:16
Have a great day. All right, thanks. Talk to you later. Bye.